the caterpillar

A poem about wanting to be a better person.

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Every shower is a baptism; I must wash away my sins:

racking up, day by day, tallies in my prayer-book,

matching remnants of self-flagellation on my back.

I walk for hours on hot coals, dig shards of glass in my soles,

I cry myself to sleep; snot and boogers mix with drool on my pillowcase,

I sin, and I sin, and I sin.

Every day is a blessing; an opportunity to wake up changed:

Everything from my wardrobe, my hair color, down to my mode of thought;

trading in my junkyard personality for a shiny new one.

I juggle balls of self-hatred, swallow flaming swords of shame,

I beg for forgiveness; the tears won’t stop, I drown my selfishness in sobs.

I sin, and I sin, and I sin.

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